I always say my only wish for pregnancy is to have a healthy, happy child. Of course that is true but honestly, I'm a bit biased. I secretly want my first to be a boy. If/when this happens, I have some advice for the little man..
1. Learn how to communicate. Never be afraid to express yourself and how you feel. Anger, fear, and sadness are perfectly normal emotions and you have every right to feel them. Life will be a lot easier for you when you learn how to communicate those emotions effectively. Many important relationships die from a lack of communication. Oh and it's OK to cry!
2. Don't be intimidated by strong women. A woman birthed you and raised you, never forget that. A strong woman only goes well with a strong man. These two make a powerful couple and are unstoppable! Also, understand feminism and be a feminist.
3. Respect women, always. Yes, ALL women. There are some women who will do/wear things that society says doesn't deserve respect, but they are WRONG. Treat those women with respect and it could change their whole life. You may be the only one that ever has <-- Remember that!
4. Be thoughtful. Buy your partner flowers on a random day (or your mom!). If she's on her period, go buy her favorite ice cream. Plan a date all by yourself. Write her a sweet note and leave it somewhere for her to find. Compliment her on something. Don't be lazy in love.
5. Find quality friends. Look for quality in your friendships, not quantity. Too many guys have been let down by their "friends" by forcing them to drink way too much, trying to encourage them to do things of a sexual nature, leading them off of a good path, etc. Find guy friends who will hold you to a higher standard. Remember: a guy who would encourage you to cheat on your partner, is not your friend.
6. Being a "nice guy" doesn't mean you're a good guy. Just because you lie to someone to avoid hurting their feelings in the moment, doesn't mean you're a good person. It just means that you don't have the balls to stand up and speak the truth. Be honest even if it hurts. Learn to be honest, but not rude. This will save you a lot of trouble in the long run.
7. Know how to fight. I hope that you would never pick a fight, but if someone comes at you unjustly, you should always defend yourself. Finish them (this doesn't mean kill BTW).
8. Know how to take care of yourself. I already know that if you ever come in to existence, you will probably be babied. I imagine I will spoil you to death, BUT it's critical that you know how to take care of yourself as you reach adulthood. Know how to cook at least 1 good meal, do your laundry, know how to work a dishwasher, and do basic maintenance checks on your vehicle. Not only will you need these skills to sustain you until you find a partner, you also want these skills so that you can contribute something to your marriage one day.
9. No means no. If a girl says she doesn't want to do something with you, drop the subject. And don't make her feel guilty for saying no. Never pressure any female to do anything that they do not want to do. No one owes you sex. You are not entitled to it. On the flip side of this, if you are with a girl and she wants to do something and you don't, you don't have to. Just because you are a guy doesn't mean you should always want it, nor should you want to sleep with every girl that you encounter. You have every right to say no and you also have a right to standards. Women can be guilty of sexual assault as well.
10. It's okay to fail. You are going to fail in life. There is nothing wrong with that. The only thing that would be wrong is if you didn't try at all. A real man gets up after he falls and carries on to his next plan. Never ever give up on your passions! Lessons learned in failing are often more useful than those we get when we succeed.
11. Your sexuality is irrelevant. Do you like girls? Great. Do you like boys? That's great too. This doesn't make you less of a man or a person. You will never get any judgement from this corner. You are my child. I intentionally got pregnant with you, I birthed you, and I have taken care of you. When I signed up for this parent thing, it wasn't with conditions. This relationship between you and I is unconditional. No matter what, I'm here for you. If you realize that you prefer boys over girls, I will support you. Your happiness is my top priority. If there is anyone in our lives who disrespects you or your preferences, we just won't be around them anymore.
12. Learn empathy. A lot of men are callous and uncaring, don't be one of these people. You need to understand that there are a lot of people in this world who are starving, dying of diseases, under dictatorial governments, etc. There are many people in this world and just down the street from you who need your help. The way you see and experience the world is not how others see and experience it. Don't be a stain on society, bring others up. Also, you never know when one day it might be you on the other side.
13. Education is everything. Make school your top priority. Read constantly. Never stop expanding your mind. The more you read, the more the world is open to you.
14. Travel. A lot. Hopefully I will be able to take you places throughout your childhood. Still, there will be so many places left to see. Plus, traveling as an adult is much better because YOU can decide on the itinerary. Traveling will cause you to look outside of yourself and realize that life is fragile and people are pretty much all the same. This helps you develop more empathy and compassion, thus making you a better person.
15. Question everything. Just because someone tells you it's true, doesn't make it so. Research everything and come to your own conclusion. You have a right to your opinions, but make sure they are backed up with facts. Don't look like a fool.
16. Understand sex, her body, and your body. This may be strange advice (this paragraph may get weird), but trust me, it will be useful in the future. Once a month women bleed, get over it. Understand that she may need you to run to the store and get tampons, do it willfully. Understand that cramps are painful and that periods cause mood swings. Understand how sperm impregnates a woman. Understand that women ovulate only on certain days each month. Understand what makes a woman satisfied sexually. Understand what makes you satisfied sexually. Sex isn't only about getting your rocks off. Learn how to please her as well. Understand that there is a thing called prostate cancer. Get yourself checked regularly.
17. Never ever put your hands on a woman. The top reason abusers have for hitting a woman is "she made me angry" or "she did this, she did that.." There's no excuse for it. You are bigger than her and have more power, the fight is not fair. You and only you are responsible for your actions. If you can't handle it, remove yourself from the situation. Walk out of the room, the house, whatever. Don't let anyone or anything cause you to stoop that low.
18. Have females in your life that are just friends. This is super important. Be friends with females with no sexual expectations or involvement. Even though you are being raised by a feminist, you could still stand to learn some things from other females your own age. These women will share their boy troubles with you and in those stories you may find pieces of yourself. Learn from these stories. Female friends can teach you how to treat a woman, treasure a woman, and keep a woman. They will also keep you in check. Trust me on this.
19. Try to avoid hook-ups, BUT if you decide to go forth, take this advice: Be upfront in your intentions. Do you have feelings for this girl? Do you see a future? Do you plan on never talking to her again? Make yourself clear before you have sex what your intentions are. Believe it or not, there are girls out there who will have sex with a guy even if she knows he may never call her again. She may not even like you like that, she just wants sex. At least you two are on the same page. This saves you from a lot of drama later on. WEAR A CONDOM. Always. Do not ever under any circumstances believe a girl when she says she's on birth control. She may be, but that doesn't mean she is taking them properly. I assure you that if you get a girl pregnant, you will be taking responsibility for the baby and I will make your life hell if you do not :-)
20. When you decide you have found the girl you wish to marry, remember these things: never ever take her for granted, marriage is not 50/50.. it is 100/100, do something each day to show her that you love her, don't put useless things above her (cell phone, social media, work, friends, sports, etc), pick up after yourself, treat her as your best friend, always be faithful and loyal, maintain your own identity, make love as often as possible, buy her a random gift, the silent treatment IS manipulation, set aside 1 day every week for just the two of you (never stop dating!), admit when you are wrong, once you let something go..never bring it up again, respect her family and build relationships with them, your marriage comes before the children (if mom and dad aren't okay, they cannot parent effectively!), and most importantly.. listen and be there for her! Of course I hope that you get all of this in return. Everyday, both of you should wake up and say "what can I do today to make ____ happy?" When you do this, love will always see you through the hard times!
The following advice is practical and slightly biased: always keep up with new technology, always keep your nails clean, your hairstyle IS important, be polite, play an instrument, don't stare at women, always have a backup plan, shower daily, do not send dick pics, have a good attitude, play video games and TV sparingly, learn how to accept rejection, own at least 1 tailored suit, get involved in politics and community outreach, learn a new language, rescue any animal that needs your help, learn how to appreciate and understand art, never wear cargo shorts, keep your eyebrows in check, learn how to dance, only wear designer underwear, see what you look like with facial hair and accept when it doesn't work, laugh, know your limits, find a mentor, don't let your favorite sports teams loss enrage you more than poverty, farts and burps are for private time, put the seat down, pickup after yourself, and most importantly.. take care of your yourself!
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