I’ve often thought of myself as highly political. I enjoy a good debate and am fully invested in what is going on in our country, both politically and socially. The last month though, has brought about a new perspective. At least in the way I choose to handle it.
Call it a spiritual awakening if you will. I’ve come to realize that each person living on earth is in their own reality. They are experiencing life in their own way, through their own experiences and perception. Until someone reaches a point where they are ready to wake up and see reality for what it is, even if it isn’t THEIR reality, I am no longer going to waste my time or breath.
Lets use the ‘kneeling during the anthem’ debate as an example. On side A you have a black man who agrees with kneeling during the anthem to shed light on racial injustice in America and Police brutality. Maybe he knows someone who was killed by police officers unjustly. He has an emotional attachment to racial injustice. Are his feelings valid? Is he legitimate in his concerns and fear? Of course he is.
On side B you have a father who lost his son in a war. When he sees the American flag or hears the national anthem, he immediately associates that with his son. The son that died protecting this country and its citizens. He has an emotional attachment to the flag, the song and an ideal of this country. Are his feelings valid? Of course they are.
Both of these individuals are emotionally invested. There is clearly nothing wrong with emotions. The issue arises when our emotions overtake our common sense. If person A begins calling all cops pigs and that they all deserve to die and person B begins denying that there is racial injustice in this country and that they just need to ‘get over it’.. that is where the problems begin. No one, regardless of where you fall on this discussion, has a right to tell someone that their feelings are not valid. We do not get to tell someone that what we experienced is worse than what they experienced. The ironic thing about this is that both of these men have so much in common, yet they can’t seem to walk in the others shoes.
Another issue is we like to speak for everyone to prove our personal point. Newsflash: not all blacks agree with kneeling. Not all whites disagree with it. Some cops agree, some don’t. Some veterans agree and some don’t. What does that tell you? At the end of the day all of these people that we like to put into groups are actually individual people with their own thoughts, opinions and perceptions. So when you find yourself speaking for a group of people, try to stop yourself. If your concern is that no kneeling should happen during the anthem because it’s offensive to veterans, stop and think about what I mentioned above. You can’t speak for all veterans because they have their own individual opinions. Just admit that it is YOUR opinion and you are bothered by it. Lets all stop being so sanctimonious about it and just admit that WE have a problem with it because WE have an emotional attachment to the issue. On the flip side, if you think that all black people should agree with kneeling, you need to admit to yourself that YOU are emotionally invested in issues of racism and that is YOUR issue, not theirs. Some black people do not process things the way that you do or maybe they have never experienced racism the way you have.
The biggest problem that I see in this country is the inability to reach across the aisle and see another’s perspective. I have gotten in many heated debates over this exact issue. Everyone is on their own personal growth journey in this life. We all reach wisdom at different ages. When someone is ready to reach a level of enlightenment they will, and not a minute sooner. I made a personal decision that I will not be engaging in anymore discussions on any issue unless I know the person I am speaking with can meet me in the middle. I no longer have the desire to talk to brick walls or unintentionally cause damage to relationships that I care deeply about. I know exactly who in my life I can have these conversations with and who I cannot. I also choose not to debate strangers because I do not know them or how they will react.. so I choose not to go there. The only thing I am responsible for is myself. I am no longer interested in trying to make anyone understand. People understand on their own terms and in their own time.
What would be best for all of us is to learn how to look at these situations objectively. Take your emotions and attachments out of it and see it for what it is. In the kneeling situation, athletes have a right to protest peacefully. It is protected under the law. It doesn’t matter whether you agree with that or not, it is the law.. that is what separates us from a Fascist state. Also, racial injustice does exist. On the other hand, just because you are black and you’ve had a bad experience with Police, it doesn’t mean that you should group them all as evil and try to have them harmed. There are wonderful cops out there who do wonderful things in their community. They truly know the meaning of ‘protect and serve’. Both of these far left and right extremes is what causes so much division between us.
I’d like to challenge everyone to really consider what you are choosing to invest your time in. If you know a person is not ready to meet you in the middle of any debate, choose to avoid the discussion altogether. If you are passionate about something and know that the other person is not ready to receive the other side of reality, leave it be. We are not responsible for other people’s journeys, only our own. Lets stop being a part of the problem and start being a part of the solution. Learn how to love each other more because all we really want is to be understood.
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