"The Man On Top Of The Mountain Didn't Fall There" - Vince Lombardi
To say 2017 has been eventful would be an understatement. I have mixed feelings about this year. 2017 has brought a lot of bad, but also a lot of good. As I reflect back on 2017, here are some of my highs & lows and how I feel about them.
Highs:
1. I received a settlement from a wreck I was in on my birthday last year.
2. I got to travel most of the United States.
3. I moved to California.
4. I moved past an old hurt.
5. I found a career path that I am really excited about.
6. Made some awesome memories.
Lows:
1. Low Self-worth.
2. I had to leave California.
3. Heartbreak.
4. Rejection.
5. Loneliness.
6. Thoughts of suicide.
So as you can see, 2017 has been very emotionally draining for me. On the bright side, 2017 has taken me all over the country and I'm really grateful I got to have that experience.
The end of 2016 into 2017 was probably the worst in my life. A hurt that I experienced from another persons actions caused me to completely forget who I was. I felt so hurt by their actions (or should I say, lack thereof) that I let it define me as a person. Then at the beginning of 2017, I decided it was time to move on and began talking to someone else. I ended up getting hurt by him too. At that point I pretty much gave up until I met someone later in the year, but nothing came of that either. So it's obviously no secret that I don't have much luck in the love department, but I keep hoping that someone will find some value in me. Someone that will fight for me as much as I fight for them. I haven't found that person yet, but my hope is strong that he will come along some day. I'm trying not to put myself 100% into someone anymore. I am naturally wired that way, but it has never helped me. I always end up looking like a fool. So with that said, I won't be putting in much effort from this day forward. I just want to be the best me that I can be and if it happens, fine. If not, whatever.
I also faced some career/life failures. I moved to Los Angeles and things did not work out with the job that I originally got before relocating. I decided to do a little traveling and go back and find a job. I was not successful. I ended up having to leave and returned to Georgia. This brought about a lot of much needed reflection on my goals and life path. Luckily, I came across something in a completely different field that I had always wanted to dabble in, but I doubted my ability to do it. Not only is the schooling affordable, but quicker. I decided to stop doubting and start believing in myself for a change. I will be doing a blog on my new career path soon!
I am hopeful that 2018 will bring some great triumphs for me.
I've learned that the most powerful thing I can do to change the outcome of my life is how I choose to think. Regardless of whether someone wants me in their life, I am still valuable. Regardless of what I haven't accomplished yet, I am moving towards it and I will get there eventually!
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