As a 33 year old female, I am often asked what exactly I am looking for in a potential mate. I am not looking for perfection, as I am not perfect myself. Some things though, I cannot compromise on. I haven't always obliged to these requirements. Over the years, I have learned what works for me and what doesn't. So now, I will not even entertain the idea of dating someone unless he has these qualities.
Here are my partner requirements:
1. CONNECTION ↞ There must be one. It is rare that I have a connection with someone. I am continually baffled at people who have a new partner after every break up. How exactly are you doing this? Is there anyone that you won't date? This confuses me. If there isn't a connection, it won't happen. I know people personally who have settled for whoever, just to say they have someone sitting next to them. I cannot fake love. It's just not who I am. My facial expressions would never allow it. I will literally be the worst person ever. You don't want that. I can only give my best self to someone that I care deeply for. If I have a connection with you, trust me, you'll feel the love and I'll be 100% committed.
2. TRUST↞ If I can't trust you, we have no chance. I don't want to be a jealous, nosy girlfriend going through your phone. If I have reached the point where I feel the need to do that, we should probably part ways. I need to trust you not to cheat, not to lie, etc. All forms of trust should be secure. Basically, don't make me look stupid for loving you.
3. VIEWS↞ I cannot date a conservative. I am a progressive. If we cannot agree on social issues, this is going to cause problems. For example, if you think Trump is a great president.. first, I am going to think you're missing half your brain and second, it shows me that you think his behavior is okay. I don't mind being your friend, but it won't get any deeper than that. Who you back politically is a reflection of your personal moral code. I cannot jive with that. Sorry.
1. adjective
Someone who is progressive or has progressive ideas has modern ideas about how things should be done, rather than traditional ones.
4. KINDNESS↞ If you are racist, sexist, homophobic, or have any other hateful tendencies.. we will not make it. I am extremely turned off by hatefulness and ugliness. If you are hateful to someone, you have embarrassed me. You are a reflection of me. This would also effect our parenting. The thought of my future children being hateful asshats, makes me cringe. NOT going to work.
5. TRAVEL BUG↞ If you are not as hyped up about traveling as I am, be gone.
6. GOALS/DREAMS↞ We obviously need to agree on where we are headed. I am looking for someone who wants a long term commitment, children, loves animals, wants to travel, and has an entrepreneurial spirit. I don't feel I should compromise my dreams for someone who doesn't have any. I need someone who will inspire me, not bring me down. We need to be on the same page.
7. SELF-RESPECT↞ You need to know how to take care of yourself. A man should have pride in his appearance. I am not going to be walking around looking like a trophy wife while you look like a hobo. If you expect me to look sexy, I expect the same in return. He should also never wear cargo shorts.
8. RELIGIOUS VIEWS↞ I am not religious, so being married to someone who is probably wouldn't work out. The only way this would work is if he didn't push it on me or our children.
9. HEIGHT↞ You have to be taller than me. (I'm allowed one superficial requirement right? haha)
10. THOUGHTFULNESS↞ In order to be with me, a man has to understand what makes me feel loved. This may not be what comes natural to him, but I'm assuming that if he really loves me, he'll figure it out. Random flowers or notes here and there, well thought out gifts on birthdays, holidays, etc. Not that difficult. Every guy I've ever been with was not thoughtful. Now that I think about it, in every relationship I've had, the problems started when there was a lack of effort from the guys side. So this is the main reason why they are now my.... *drum roll*.... ex-boyfriends..
So is it any wonder that I'm single??? 😉
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