Pun Collection

For a while on Facebook, I was posting puns as my status updates. People always asked me where I got them. I will never squeal. Lucky for you guys, I am about to compile a list of some of my favorite puns! 

Prepare to be amazed...

💚 What did the elevator say to the other elevator? 
I think I'm coming down with something. 

💚 What do you call an empty can of cheese whiz? 
Cheese Was

💚 What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
Oh Sheet!

💚 Someone has stolen my Microsoft Office, but I will find them. 
You have my word. 

💚 What's Mozart up to these days?
Decomposing

💚 What room can't a skeleton enter?
The living room

💚 Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps

💚 All these ghosts and I still can't find a boo.

💚 Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
She had bad blood. 

💚 What happened when the dad told a chemistry joke?
There was no reaction

💚 What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta

💚 Yesterday a clown held open the door for me. It was a nice jester. 

💚 What do you call a cow that deals with money?
An accowtant

💚 I like the way the earth rotates. It really makes my day. 

💚 Why did the frog take the bus?
Because his car got toad

💚 What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon

💚 I hate spheres. They're so pointless. 

💚 Did you hear about the houses falling in love?
It was a lawn-distance relationship

💚 Are you a geologist?
Because you rock

💚 What did the almond say to the peanut before they fought?
Cashew outside how bout dat

💚 What do you call a business cow?
An entrepe-moo-er

💚 How often do I make chemistry jokes?
Periodically

💚 What days are the strongest? 
Saturday & Sunday. The rest are week days


You're welcome.